Barbara Tapp

Barbara Jean Tapp, 81, passed away peacefully with her loving family by her side on January 24, 2021, from complications due to heart disease.  Barbara was the youngest of John and Catherine Smith’s six children. Born April 25, 1939 at St. Joseph’s Hospital in Denver, Colorado, Barbara spent her childhood and youth in the same home on South Pennsylvania Street in Denver.  Barbara entered the world as it was on the verge of a second World War, which may be why she instinctively yearned for peace, love and togetherness.

In 1955, as a junior at St. Francis de Sales Catholic High School, Barbara Smith met the love of her life, Robert “Bob” Tapp. It was love at first sight. A type of love that would only strengthen over the next 65 years.  After graduating from St. Francis de Sales High School in 1957, Bob left for the Navy and Barbara joined Central Banks and Trust as secretary to the auditor. On June 25, 1960, just weeks after Bob’s return from the Navy, they married. Within two months, Bob would begin night school at Regis College while working a fulltime day job, they would buy a house on Reed Street in Arvada, and Barbara would be pregnant with Baby #1, sweet Marie.

In the following four years, Bob would complete his college degree, specializing in computer science, and Babies #2, 3, and 4 (Anne, Rob, and Michael), would arrive. Barbara perfected the art of simultaneously caring for infants, reining-in toddlers, and entertaining preschoolers. In 1964, Bob and Barbara moved into a newly constructed home in Lakewood to accommodate their growing family.  As Bob’s expertise in the early computer industry grew, Bob and Barbara made the difficult decision to leave Denver, home to them both for their entire lives, to pursue work opportunities first in Concord, California and then in Bellevue, Washington. Babies #5 and #6 (Ken and Sue) followed.  As the family grew, so too did Barbara’s skills at being a Mom. She could entertain (dramatically reading “Charlotte’s Web”), discipline (light on spanking, but a master of guilt), engage (impromptu spelling quizzes), and wrangle her growing brood with the ease of a maestro.

In 1973, desperately missing her own mother and sisters and longing for “home”, Barbara and Bob decided to leave the computer mecca of Bellevue, Washington and return to Colorado. They packed up the house, their six kids, and moved back to Denver that summer. The family of eight would soon grow, with Baby #7, Steve, coming along later that year.

As the mother of a large family, Barbara was exceedingly frugal. She had the amazing ability to divide, then multiply a single serving of food for her entire family; a near miraculous skill, comparable only to Jesus's “Loaves and Fishes”.  She was also the original conservationist, using paper bags (often “recycled” from the grocery store produce department) over and over again for the kids’ lunch sacks. She simply would not tolerate waste or excess.

As her children grew more independent, Barbara ventured back into the work world.  She worked overnight shifts in the admissions department at Swedish Hospital in Denver (not for the faint of heart) and served as secretary at a real estate company and then at her beloved parish, Most Precious Blood Catholic Church.  Once all her children had graduated high school, Barbara pursued her own academic passions. She completed a certificate at Catholic Biblical School and a BA in Religious Studies from Regis University in 1991. Her graduation at Regis culminated with all seven children and Bob cheering raucously from the audience. We were so proud of our brilliant mom.

Integral to Barbara’s life was her love for Bob, and his for her.  They were together for 65 years; married for nearly 61 years. They had a profound respect for each other. They had fun. They tended to and nurtured their love for each other. They scheduled “date nights” to escape the relentlessness of parenting seven children. They did not always agree, but found ways to “see through” disagreements and bind themselves to a deeper understanding of each other -and of their children.

Barbara enjoyed traveling. In 1985, Barbara, Bob, the three youngest Tapps (Ken, Sue, and Steve), and Barbara’s mom Kate (AKA “Grandma Smith”) traveled to France to visit Michael who was on a year-long student exchange program with Rotary International. Barbara and Bob saved airline discount coupons through a special that Polaroid Camera was offering at the time. They enjoyed two spectacular weeks in Paris (including an afternoon driving endlessly around the Champs-Élysées round-about, similar to a scene in the Griswald’s European Vacation). They attended Passion Sunday Mass at the Notre Dame Cathedral. While visiting the very austere Chapel of St. Catherine Laboure in Paris, where St. Catherine’s incorrupt body lies in a glass coffin, Barbara pulled out her Polaroid camera and, despite the numerous “Pas de Photos!” signs, calmly took a picture, flash and all. When the “click, CHUURRRR” sound of the Polaroid drew glares of disapproval, Barbara simply shrugged. She had come all this way to see St. Catherine, and she was pretty sure St. Catherine wouldn’t mind having her picture taken.

In later years, Barbara and Bob took a wonderful trip to Ireland, giving Barbara the chance to visit her grandparents’ homeland. In 2019, they enjoyed their last international trip: Italy.  Barbara finally got to visit the Sistine Chapel (“not as big as you might think”) and Vatican City. While physically draining, the trip provided Barbara a profound measure of spiritual nourishment and peace.

Barbara had a wonderful sense of humor and a hearty laugh. She was often “tickled” by the antics of her children and grandchildren. She never tired of the laugh lines in “Back to the Future” or “A Christmas Story”. She thought Erma Bombeck’s column in Readers Digest channeled her own experiences (we still giggle at Erma’s assertion that lost socks from the dryer simply went to live with Jesus).  She delighted in funny things; a gift passed along to her children.

There were so many things uniquely Barbara.  She was tiny in stature (5 foot 2 inches) but had a giant presence. She never sought the spotlight, but she could command a room. Her profound Catholic faith was grounded in justice and compassion.  She could be strict and directive, and soft and understanding in the same moment.

Due to a car accident in childhood and Buckley/Smith genetics, Barbara struggled with hearing loss over her lifetime. By her later years, she was completely deaf in one ear and had profound hearing loss in the other. She could track conversations by facial expressions, which became exceeding difficult with COVID-19 masks.  Over her lifetime, Barbara “listened with the ear of her heart” (St. Benedict of Nursia). She may not have heard the details of our conversations, but she understood what we were communicating. She listened deeply, even when she couldn’t hear.

Barbara loved her seven children fiercely, but absolutely adored her 14 grandchildren. Unfettered with the responsibilities of parenting, she embraced the role of “Grammy” with abandon.  She delighted in her grandchildren’s antics, and found nearly everything they did adorable, funny, or genius. She especially loved watching them perform in their sports, dances, plays and recitations. Even in her last year, with her increasingly frail body and fragile heart, Barbara braved the bitter cold, piercing winds, sweltering heat, uncomfortable seats, and long car rides, just so she could help celebrate her grandkids’ successes, rejoice in their victories, and console them in defeat.

Barbara is survived by her loving husband of 61 years, Bob; her seven children and their spouses/partners, Marie Tapp and Denise Signs of Wheatridge, CO, Anne Tapp and Jill McFadden of Boulder, CO, Rob and Debbie Tapp of Highlands Ranch, CO, Michael and Betsy Tapp of Parker, CO, Ken Tapp and Lonnie Klaess of Denver, CO, Sue (Tapp) and Jim McDonald of Phoenix, AZ, and Steve and Mary Jean Tapp of Westminster, CO; her 14 adoring grandchildren and three great grandchildren; and more than 50 nieces and nephews and great nieces and nephews across the country. Barbara was preceded in death by her parents, Catherine and John Smith, her brother Joseph Smith, and her three loving sisters, Dorothy (Dottie) Smith, Evelyn Smith, and Mary Smith, and their spouses.

Barbara was a brilliant diamond who showered unconditional love and kindness upon everyone she knew. Her strength was forged through the pressure and fire of motherhood. The grace in which she carried herself exemplified the care and respect she gave to us all.  She will be deeply missed by her adoring husband, Bob, her children (“The Lucky Seven”), her grandchildren and great-grandchildren, and all who were blessed to know her.

In honor of Barbara's generous spirit, please consider making a donation to the National MS Society or your favorite charity.

The National MS Society (Donate button at top of page):

www.nationalmssociety.org

If you would like to attend the service for Barbara Tapp virtually, please click the link below.

https://mpbdenver.org/live