Frances ""Fofe"" Terry

Fofe Skoupas was born in Niagara Falls on Friday, October 13, 1928, to very loving, and newly-emigrated parents, Theodora and Gregory Skoupas. If the seas had been any rockier, she almost certainly would have been born aboard the ship that brought her parents from Greece to America. Fofe loved to tell the story that her parents literally kissed the ground when they landed at Ellis Island, New York, so grateful to be in the ""greatest country in the world."" The young family settled in Niagara Falls when Gregory's brother invited him to become a partner in the Sweet Shop he had started. One of our most treasured keepsakes is a photograph showing Gregory and Theodora proudly displaying young Fofe in a beautiful wicker pram in front of the store. Fofe's sister, Constance, was born two years later, and soon after, the family relocated to Chicago – across the street, as it turned out, to another Greek family, with whom they would become lifelong friends and koumbara. In Chicago, Theodora and Athena, the mother of the family across the street, shared the joys of raising three daughters. Yes, Fofe and Constance had welcomed a sister, Irene, into their family after the move to the Windy City, and they each had a playmate close in age at Athena's house: Fofe and Effie, Connie and Marina, and Irene and Nicky were constant companions during the troubled years of the Great Depression. Fofe's happiest memories centered around the time spent as a carefree, young child enjoying friends and family. A special memory was when Fofe and Effie went to kindergarten at Kaminski Elementary. The girls only could be persuaded to attend in each other's company, and Fofe vividly remembered the young teacher trying desperately to communicate to a roomful of immigrant children from all over the world who spoke little to no English. Fofe was determined to learn English – she mastered her new language so well, in fact, that her parents insisted she also attend Greek school where she would learn to read and write in her ""native"" language. Her Greek school lessons served her well as, later in life, she and her husband, Deno, loved to speak to each other in their ""secret"" language. Fofe always spoke of the great love and respect her parents had for each other and of the loving, patient and calm environment in which she was raised. Her mother was very well educated, having earned a college degree in Athens before emigrating to America – an amazing feat for a young woman born in 1908! Life during the Great Depression was a struggle, but the strain seemingly never touched the Skoupas girls because of the great love that surrounded them. Tragedy struck in 1936 when baby Irene died of unknown causes. The grace and faith with which Fofe's mother handled the family's intense grief would shape Fofe's deep spirituality and joy in living for the rest of her life. Five years later, that grace and faith would be tested as Fofe's beloved mother, Theodora, became ill and suffered for several years before her death in 1945. She was only 37 years old. Frances and Connie were left alone to carry on with their grieving father. Gregory pleaded with the nuns at Saint Martin's Business School to admit his daughters, even though they had been baptized as Greek Orthodox Christians. The nuns proved to be very sympathetic to the widower's plight, and Fofe's experience under the tutelage of the nuns enhanced her spirituality and her natural optimism. She would continue a lifelong correspondence with two special nuns whose love and strength sustained her through the most trying times in her life. Fofe met Deno Terry at a Greek dance on the north side of Chicago. Her father had been on the council that organized the dance, and Fofe and Connie were part of the greeting committee assigned to present a yellow rose to everyone who attended. Fofe remembered pinning a rose onto Deno's lapel…and the rest, as the saying goes, is history. Deno and Fofe were married on June 5, 1949 – and the photographs of that joyful day attest to the handsomeness of the young couple, and to their great love that truly will transcend time. Connie and Deno's cousin, Theodore Demos, both stood up at the wedding…and were married six months later. Deno and Fofe settled into their home in Chicago and filled the house with three sons: Nickolas, in June, 1950; Gregory, in January, 1952; and Mark, in June, 1956. During that joyous time of birth-giving, Fofe also had to rely on her inner strength and unshakable faith as she suffered the loss of her cherished father in 1952 and an infant son, Deno Jr., in 1954. After Mark was born, plans were made to move closer to Connie and Ted, who were raising three young boys of her own in Indiana, and the family eventually moved to Anderson, Indiana, in 1958. The Terry and Demos families created a beautiful circle of love…and with the ""change in the water,"" as Fofe loved to say, the circle expanded with the addition of two Terry girls – Doria, in March, 1959, and Antoinette, in May, 1961 – and one Demos girl in December, 1967. Bursting at the seams with five young children and only one bathroom, the Terry household at 3834 Delaware Street was a hotbed of activity and impassioned pleas to ""Hurry up in the bathroom!"" Connie and Ted and their four young children – George, Gregory, Jolly, and Tina – were only five minutes away and many of Deno's cousins were near, especially Angie and Pete Vrouvas, and Georgia Demos, who lived down the street in a magical, pink house. Fofe frugally ""made do"" with their sometimes meager provisions and kept the family happy and loved through the many ups and downs that life brings. As Den Mother to her sons' Cub Scout and Boy Scout Troops, Girl Scout Leader to her daughters' Brownie and Girl Scout Troops, Room Mother at Roosevelt Elementary or Meadowbrook Elementary, or the Mom that everyone's friend could talk to and confide in, Fofe made her loving and enduring mark in countless ways. She took the Lord's command to ""Love Thy Neighbor"" literally, and loved and nurtured everyone with whom she came in contact without judgment or prejudice. Fofe never lost her sense of pride and awe in living in America. Leading by example, she insisted that all of her children vote, as she always did, and that they be involved in their neighborhoods and communities, as she always was, often writing letters to the editors of local newspapers or to leaders of businesses she either wanted to commend or take to task. Doria's first memories are of her mother's love of music and of her beautiful singing voice. Fofe encouraged all of her children to have an appreciation for music and to be creative by making sure that they all had music lessons. That is one of the gifts that Doria always will cherish. Walking hand in hand with her mother, Doria learned literally hundreds of songs from her mother, and they would sing them together on the way to school, to the library, or to the Meadowbrook Baptist Church. Music and laughter always were the remedies for anything that was wrong…along with a good night's sleep! Fofe's great love of her children and the joy that she got from being their mother was paramount in her life. She called the kitchen window, out of which she watched her children playing in the backyard while she prepared their meals, her ""Joy Window,"" and she lovingly referred to their modest home as ""The Sugar Shack."" She looked at life through rose-colored glasses forged out of bright optimism and a steady, practical, and centered philosophy: ""Better to have it and not to need it, than to need it and not to have it!"" As her children quickly made their way into the world, Fofe worked outside the home as a School Crossing Guard, a Cafeteria Monitor, a Mentor, as an Aide in a Pre-School. Her quest for knowledge was insatiable – she valued education above everything and instilled this ideology in her children. She was a student of human nature, devouring every biography she could get her hands on, and studying Jungian Psychology and ancient Greek Philosophy. All of her children fondly remember sitting on their mother's lap, following along as she lovingly read them stories – another one of her eternal gifts to them. Wherever she went, Fofe naturally planted many seeds of hope and love, and there never was a child that she didn't love, nurture, and care for. Without fail, Fofe sought out the good and positive in everyone she met. ""Bloom where you are planted,"" was another of the standards by which she lived her life. Fofe and Deno moved to Parker, Colorado, in March, 2001, and spent many happy times with their ever-extending family of grandchildren and great-grandchildren. They moved to a lovely retirement home, Quincy Place, in April, 2010, and savored the autumn of their time together until Fofe's health decline in September. We feel so blessed to have shared so many celebrations of life with our parents and our family. Thank you for helping us honor the life of such a remarkable person, Frances ""Fofe"" Terry. With much love, Nickolas, Gregory, Mark, Doria, Antoinette, and family January 4, 2011 ""The language of the heart Is the conveyance of the most tender, most delicate emotions. And if one Is lucky enough, that language is learned at a mother's knee."" ( Maya Angelou) ""It doesn't matter where you go or what you do or how much you have. What matters is who you have beside you."" (Frances ""Fofe"" Terry) Special thanks to the wonderful souls at the Hospice of Saint John for their loving and comforting help on Mom's journey. Thank you also, to Harpist, MariAnne Lounsberry, for her inspirational and moving celestial music. — Doria Cladis Fofe is survived by her loving husband of 62 years, Deno; sons, Nickolas (Lisa), Gregory (Deborah) and Mark (Jennifer): daughters, Doria (Tom) Cladis and Antoinette (Richard) Lyons; 16 grandchildren; 13 great grandchildren and many loving nieces and nephews and countless friends. Donations may be made to St. Catherine Greek Orthodox Church, The Hospice of St. John or the Alzheimer's Association. To share memories of Fofe or condolences with her family please select the ""Sign Guestbook"" link.