Henry ""Hank"" Davis Ward Jr.

There are people who come into our lives and remain there forever. They are not necessarily the people we see most often. Or the ones who share our interests. Or even the ones who are the smartest, the most prominent, or the most logical.

They are the ones who have such traits, and also a greater one: an instinctive gift for reaching our hearts, knowing more about us than we reveal, and whose kindness and good cheer embrace us for a lifetime and never let go.

Hank Ward Jr. was this kind of person. He had a capacity for friendship that was large, deep, and permanent. Laughter chimed through everything he said. His wit was quick and quirky. He wore a smile more elegantly than a he wore a tuxedo. His loyalty was steel and stone. And his generosity gushed toward everyone he loved.

That is what his family and many friends will remember whenever they think about his life, which ended peacefully on December 8, 2019, in Castle Pines Colorado, a small town at the western edge of the Great Plains, bordered by Happy Canyon Creek. His life began 74 years earlier in another small town, on the Coastal Plains of the Eastern Seaboard, bordered by the Lumber River.

Henry Davis Ward, Jr. was born on October 10, 1945 in Lumberton, North Carolina, to Henry Davis Ward, Sr., and Lillian Poe Ward. His mother was a teacher and from her he inherited a rich sense of humor and great agility with puns. His father was the manager of the Lumberton Trading Company, a general store where Hank started working as a teenager, and from which his outgoing nature and sales skills developed.

He graduated from Mars Hill College in 1967 and moved to Jacksonville Florida where he was hired by DuPont, the beginning of a long and successful sales career. It was also where he met Pam Kircher, the woman who would be his wife for 49 years. Their first encounter became a famous family legend.

Pam moved to Jacksonville after graduating from Northwestern University, and one afternoon visited a friend at her new apartment. They walked to the pool and for reasons that have grown obscure over time, sat down in the baby pool. Hank lived in the same apartment complex and was lounging in the sunshine when he looked up and saw Pam. Intrigued and always confident, he strolled over to chat with her. A few minutes later she stood up, all 5'11"" of her, and Hank quipped, ""You're the biggest baby I've ever seen.""

They were married on March 21, 1970 in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida. Their son Davis was born in 1973 and their daughter Carrie in 1974. Hank's career at Dupont was followed by associations with several high tech companies in the Atlanta area. He and his family lived in Dunwoody, Georgia, where Davis and Carrie grew up and many lifetime friendships were formed.

In 2007 Hank and Pam moved to Magnolia, Texas to be near their grown children and young grandchildren. It was where Hank was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and waged a brave battle against its invasive effects. He and Pam moved to Castle Pines in 2018, but she was unexpectedly stricken with cancer and died in early 2019. Nine months later, with Carrie at his side, Hank passed away in his sleep.

Everybody has a Hank Story. Something funny he said. A prank he executed superbly. An odd tale about almost anything. A pun that was clever and excruciating. A whip-smart, startling, affectionate, and utterly original observation.

There are also stories about the quality of his friendships, his reliable accessibility to anyone who needed him. He stayed with a troubled friend, giving solace or wisdom or encouragement, or silent sympathy, and then stayed even longer. As long as it took. Until the troubles lessened.

The story of Hank's life is told in the memories of everyone who knew him. He lives on, of course, in the biology and behavior of his son, daughter, and 7 grandchildren. But also in the hearts of his extended family and fortunate friends, who were entertained and uplifted by his chatty, exuberant, compassionate, and bountiful nature.

His sister, Betty, remembers that, ""...one time he took me bird hunting. I don't think I had ever shot a gun before, but miraculously I killed a bird. Hank was so proud of me that he insisted on keeping that dead bird on the back porch until the smell became unbearable.""

One of his friends, Judy Faletti, explained that, ""The first time that Paul and I met Hank was at a gourmet dinner in the Vineyards. He had just moved in and it was a costume party. Hank had on a pink tutu and was the hit of the party. He was so much fun.""

Jessica Carasa, one of his nieces, said that he once affectionately said to her, ""You da puppy,"" a nonsensical comment not connected to any event or trait in her life. He continued the reference by giving her an ALPO tote bag for Christmas.

Pam and Hank's housekeeper, La Tonja, recalled that ""with me he always used to talk about the Carolina blue sky and tell me all about his upbringing. As I think about him, I can only smile because he kept me smiling.""

Hank's son, Davis, believed that ""my Dad's sense of humor, outgoing personality, and zest for life meant he never knew a stranger. His extroversion was contagious - he wanted to be friends with everyone and made it so very easy with a smile and a laugh. But I think most of all, he was an incredibly committed and loving family man.""

His former sister-in-law, Kim Androw, remembers that she and Hank used to innocently insult each other's alma maters. She said to him, ""You know, Mars Hill is just a candy bar."" He replied instantly, ""Oh, yeah? Well, 9 out of 10 women are beautiful. The 10^th goes to Michigan.""

Tom Simon, who considered Hank his best friend, defined him as, ""the person everyone wants to be friends with, and with good reason. He has a smile, a joke and a laugh to share. He respects everyone and everyone respects him for his kindness, friendship, and love. He showed me the meaning of real and dear friendship and always had the ability to make me laugh and feel good no matter what the circumstances.""

Hank's nephew, Demian Kircher, spoke about all the Kircher family reunions, where ""Hank was always hilarious. He had great one-liners. He lit up a room. And when everyone got together, there was usually chaos and sometimes conflict. Hank deflected any tensions because he always had something really funny to say.""

Bob Lammers, another of Hank's good friends, described him as someone who, ""first and foremost, loved being a husband and dad. Second, he loved any ole country song with a weird title, the weirder the better. Third, he was our ultimate city gardener. He had the best tomatoes! And he was a sweet man, always sensitive to the plight of others and we can't forget his dry sense of humor.""

His daughter, Carrie Bracksieck, called him, ""my sweet daddy. He did such sweet things. When we lived in Texas, there were Project Days for my house and he always wanted to help. Painting rooms...planting a garden in the backyard...power washing my driveway, He would do chores with me that no one else wanted to do and he did it with a smile and a loving heart.""

Hank's great sense of humor was only the most obvious of many other distinctive traits. He was an unreserved foodie, a zealous gardener, and a true Southerner.

Meals were Hank's favorite time of day. He was an informed, selective, and passionate lover of food, particularly cheap, deep-fried, unhealthy Southern food. Many family road trips were planned around his favorite restaurants. On the way to visit his parents, Hank always insisted that Pam, Davis, and Carrie accompany him to Katherine's Kitchen for country fried steak biscuits. When Carrie decided to go to Texas Christian University, Hank's response was, ""Great! Go eat at Joe T's.""

For Hank, the greatest restaurant in the world wasn't in New York or Paris. It was in Greensboro, North Carolina, and its name was ""Stamey's BBQ."" His other favorite dining venue was Chick fil A. In fact, the owner of the Chick fil A in Magnolia, Texas always came out to chat with his most loyal customer. And while most people wear tee shirts boasting their favorite sports team or their college, all of Hank's were from restaurants. He wore them until they shredded.

Among the many reasons Pam and Hank were so well-suited for each other is that Pam loved to cook and was good at it, and Hank loved to eat and was good at it.

Hank was also a fanatic gardener. From his paternal grandfather he inherited the enormous pleasure of digging in the dirt and nurturing miraculous plants out of it, especially vegetables. He grew sweet corn, squash, zucchini, potatoes, eggplant, okra, and asparagus. But his real specialties were Robeson County field peas and Burpee's Big Boy tomatoes.

Once harvested, Hank would call his neighbors to let them know the tomatoes were ready and waiting for pickup. He made large batches of marinara sauce, which he delivered to his friends in huge freezer bags. In his home in Dunwoody, and his home in Magnolia, one of the first things he did after moving in was to create a garden. He said he could live without bathrooms, but not without a garden.

Hank thought of the whole world as his personal backyard, where no one was a stranger, and everyone got some of his tomatoes.

He was also a genuine, naturally born, 100% pedigreed Southerner, in the very best sense of the word. He was friendly, glib, upbeat, enormously hospitable, polite, and had strict Southern preferences. He loved ""Elvira,"" by the Oakridge Boys, ""Homegrown Tomatoes"" by John Denver, and ""Sweet Caroline,"" by Neil Diamond. He liked, as they say in the South, his tea sweet, his chicken fried, and his biscuits homemade. Although he had no known connection to the University of Alabama, he would occasionally and for no particular reason, interrupt a conversation without warning and shout, ""Roll, Tide!"" He was warm and generous, had Southern charm, and loved Arnold Palmers, orange chiffon cake, and Meyer lemon bars. He also had a workable knowledge of bourbon, and understood that supper isn't dinner.

The Southern tradition that was less an affectation and more a principle that Hank lived by, was helping others. It was part good manners, part being neighborly, and mostly an instinct of active kindness. In that sense, Hank would have been a Southerner even if he lived in the North.

He had two favorite expressions. One was, ""Honk if you can't wave,"" directed at people driving by who didn't wave or who behaved rudely. The other was, ""A circle makes a square,"" but absolutely nobody knows what it means. One of his good friends was Christy Queen, but Hank always called him Crispy Cream.

When asked how he thought of puns so quickly, he said, ""They just come upun me.""

His wit was sharp. His laugh was infectious. His smiles were permanent. His heart was huge. And his life was full of goodness.

How comforting it would be if coming into the world and departing it had equal measures of love. But not everyone dies happily or gently. So Carrie made sure that her father's departure was peaceful and that he was not alone, saying, ""At the end, I laid down with him in his bed, singing Sweet Caroline, playing Carolina beach music, holding his hand and loving him as he quietly left the world.""

It was a tender ending for a wonderful man who deserved it.

Hank was preceded in death by his wife, Pamela Kircher Ward. He is survived by his son, Henry Davis Ward, III, of Austin, Texas (wife, Lauren; children: Henry, Carter, and Emmy); his daughter Caroline Ward Bracksieck, of Castle Pines, Colorado (husband, Chris; children: Kade, Madeline, Kircher, and Lillian); and his sister, Betty Davis, of Edisto Island, South Carolina (children: Elizabeth and Franklin).

A Memorial Service/Celebration of Life will take place on Saturday, July 11, 2020, at the home of Hank's sister, Betty, in Edisto Island, South Carolina.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Alzheimer's Association in memory of Hank Ward.