Jean R. Carter

83, of Denver, passed away on March 23, 2013. She is survived by her beloved husband of 60 years, Lyle; her children, Patricia (James), James (Karen), Susan (Michael), Gerard (Connie), Ruth (Stan), Thomas (Kim), Mary (Ron), John (Angie) and Michael; grandchildren, Matthew (Lindsey), Beth (Mike), Katy (Steve), Rhys, Morgan, Marin, Bryce, Abby, Ryan, Nicholas, Maxwell, Cecilia, Casey, Mathea, Louise and Joseph; great-grandchildren, Cole, Chase and Graham; siblings, Mary, Frank and Rose and numerous nieces and nephews. Preceded in death by her sister, Collette. Daughter and sister Jean was born in 1929, during the crashing economy of the great depression. Her parents were young, doting. As the first born she was destined to be the oldest sister the rest of her life, an identity which shaped her, a way of viewing the world that allowed her to be, as a former student put it ""a force of competence. A strong capable leader and a gentle guide."" A role she practiced first on her sister Mary and later perfected on her younger siblings. Her mother died when she was still a toddler and Mary was an infant; her father Francis later married Bernice. These events shaped her, the early loss of her mother, the depression, the responsibilities of an older sister marked Jean in many ways. It was easy to see in the way she felt responsible to her family, her care and acumen with marshaling resources for charity, for the VFW, for her students. After her mother died, life became difficult, in the middle of the depression, without a mother, it was hard to Jean to find a place. When her father remarried Jean became step-daughter to Bernice, sister to Frank with Rose and Collette. She was a sickly child with frequent ear infections, asthma, and allergies. She missed a lot of school until her two spinster aunts intervened. They were worried about her school skills, about her falling behind. They took her to their home, closer to school, caught her up in school and attended to her with a strict care. Though severe they taught her the importance of school and the difference a teacher could make. Her own mother had a scholarship to be a teacher, $500 to attend Minnesota Teacher's College. Jean followed in the footsteps Agnes was unable to and became a teacher. At the time students had to wear lime-green beanies but Jean was exempted because her Irish red hair clashed with the beanie's green. Teaching took her to Campbell, MN where it was practically a one room school house. It is also where she met a young man named Lyle Carter. He was a local boy, son of farmers, Huber and Ruth, a Marine. They courted according to the strict rules for a single rural teacher which dictated clothing, number of dates a teacher could go on and other limitations. Away from the prying eyes of the locals Jean and Lyle with a couple of friends would go to Chicago dancing. Once they did not have proper ID's so they couldn't get into the dancehall and ended up instead in a strip club. Though she wouldn't never volunteer an off color story about herself she had a strong independent streak and she was braver more open minded than she ever let on. As a daughter she was loyal and attentive, as a sister she was kind and generous working at a movie theater to pay for her younger sister's dancing lessons. As a wife, she was a partner in crime. Wife and Mother Jean and Lyle married June 6, 1953. Her young cousin, now Sister Rebecca, described her as ""the most beautiful bride"" she'd ever seen, in her dotted Swiss dress. A keg of beer topped the celebration before Jean and Lyle left for their honeymoon. Their first daughter, Patricia Ann, because ""the first one comes quickest,"" was born about 9 months later. James followed one year later; Susan 16 months after that. These three formed the group later known as ""the big kids."" They moved to Denver shortly before Susan was born, barely a city in those days with pheasants scattering on the runway of the airport. Motherhood suited Jean. In quick succession she had three more children Gerard, Ruth and Thomas, forming the group later known as ""the middle kids."" Jean and Lyle thought that 6 was the perfect number of children so the 'middle children' moniker was confusing until the next 3 came along, spread more slowly they were undeniably born, hence the final installment of ""the little kids"" Mary, John and Michael. But motherhood wasn't enough; she was an active church member, drove everyone to swimming meets. She and Lyle went square dancing and were active in the VFW. Teacher Nine months after Michael was born Jean returned to work, because apparently caring for nine children wasn't enough work or she needed a break! She taught High School English and was mentored by her dear friend Ruth Hope. Later she found work at a small Catholic school in a poor section of Denver, St. Anthony of Padua patron Saint of lost articles, lost people and even lost spiritual goods. To say she was dedicated to her craft of teaching would be an understatement. She was devotional, missionary, driven, brilliant, creative, utterly in love with teaching, with St. Anthony's School, her colleagues, and staff. She would later become principal a role in which she excelled at shepherding new teachers to become master teachers, lovers of teaching and holding a failing poor school together trying to get hungry students fed and clothed. Former students would report that she was the finest, more creative teacher they had ever had even after they had finished college they saw their 6th grade teacher as the seminal education experience. It is not unusual for former students to approach her years later and thank her. Sadly St. Anthony's was unsustainable and she reported later as the hardest thing she ever had to do was close St. A's. She saw it as something needed but could not find the proper support. She went on to teach for many more years at St. Rose of Lima and finished her career at Loyola. She loved and enjoyed her students and worried about them and gave them everything she could to help them be creative, curious, thinking and caring. Grandmother Loosed from the encompassing anxiety of parenthood she was in her words ""a besotted grandmother."" She had a long time to do it and plenty of opportunity. From the first grandson Matthew in 1974, Jean had almost 40 years as a grandmother and 16 more grandchildren after Matthew; Rhys, Morgan, Marin, Katy, Beth, Ryan, Nicholas, Max, Cici, Casey, Mathea, Abby, Bryce, Joe and Louise. She welcomed some from birth, some from adolescence, into the family without reservation. It was a role she took seriously and with a great deal of pleasure. In fact, she was filling Easter baskets for them on the day before she died. She wanted everyone to feel wanted. And she wanted every one of those grandchildren. She even had the joy of living long enough to have great grandchildren: Chase, Cole and Graham. Important facts Jean loved Christmas. She loved being Irish. She loved her husband and family. She loved trashy novels which she relished with a cup of tea, her feet up and one of a series of dogs on her lap Mindy, Scampers, Buffi, Misty, Cowboy, Midget and Mac. She was adventurous and got up in the middle of the night to watch comets streak across the night sky—unfortunately she and Lyle locked themselves out and had to wake up the neighbors at 3 am. She loved telling the story of locking them out of the house and giggling. She loved a beer now again. She loved to collect stones. She loved the Oregon coast. She loved when everyone got together. She loved her last vacation to visit her sisters and brother and school friends it was ""the best vacation I've ever had."" She loved dancing. She loved music. She loved hearing from family and friends. She loved bright colors. She loved offering support. She had beautiful handwriting. She was practical. She loved giving out ""ass-pocket"" money. She loved the Serenity Prayer, the Prayer of Saint Francis, and the Irish Blessing. She loved roses. She loved naps. She loved chocolate. She loved life and lived it with determination. Partner in Crime Jean enjoyed six decades of marriage to the same man, Lyle. Originally they only contracted for 50 years but at that point they decided to stick it out and see what happened. What made for such a long partnership, one that continued to grow, became more fun, more intimate? They had two agreements: one, no nursing homes; and two, whoever left had to take the kids with them. That is the basis of a lasting marriage when you have nine children. Jean died with her loving husband and 5 of her children with her. Though life wasn't always easy for her, and she had many challenges, we were all lucky to have had her in our life too briefly for those of us unable to say goodbye in person. Gloria Steinem wrote: ""The most revolutionary of all qualities is kindness."" In this way Jean was a revolutionary, a quiet one who made sure her daughters felt free to be brave, sons who could cook, grandchildren and great-grandchildren who felt loved unconditionally, students who got nourished, veterans and their families who had Christmas and Thanksgiving. She was someone who showed up, rolled up her sleeves and got to work. A Memorial Mass will be held in her honor on Thursday, 3/28 at 10:30 AM at All Saints Catholic Church, 2559 South Federal Boulevard, Denver. Interment will follow at Fort Logan National Cemetery at 12:15 PM, 3698 South Sheridan Boulevard, Denver. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in Jean's honor to the following charities: Fisher House Foundation, Inc. 111 Rockville Pike, Suite 420 Rockville, MD 20850-5168 Wounded Warrior Project P.O. Box 758517 Topeka, Kansas 66675 All-Saints Catholic Church Food Bank 2559 South Federal Blvd. Denver CO US 80219 Please share your memories of Jean and condolences with her family by signing the guestbook below.