Pam Ward

No one is ever a bare biography. Lights, whispers, darkness, miracles, mistakes, and bliss shine through dates and events to tell the whole story of a life. This is certainly true of Pam Ward, who died of pancreatic cancer on March 5, 2019. These are the facts and the fullness of how she lived.

Pamela Anne Kircher Ward was born on September 27, 1946 in Charlotte, North Carolina. She attended Guilford High School in Rockford, Illinois, and graduated in 1964. She went to Northwestern University from 1964 to 1968, and was President of her sorority, Gamma Phi Beta.

She began her teaching career at an elementary school in Jacksonville, Florida. On March 20, 1970, she married Henry Davis Ward, Jr., in Ponte Vedra, Florida, and they moved to Dunwoody, Georgia a few years later. Their son Davis was born in 1973 and their daughter Carrie in 1974. While raising her children, Pam also did private tutoring, was in a Book Club for for more than 30 years, played tennis regularly, and volunteered extensively at school functions.

In 2007, Pam and Hank moved to Magnolia, Texas to be near their grown children and young grandchildren. Pam took classes at the local community college, was a member of a group of women who toured Houston museums together and was active in her grandchildren's school library. In April 2018 Pam and Hank moved to Castle Pines, Colorado, close to Carrie's family and surrounded by the massive mountains she loved. A year later, with her son and daughter by her side, she quietly passed away.

From an early age and throughout her life, Pam had wide interests, high standards, and deep connections. She was her husband's lifelong partner and biggest fan. She was an inspiring teacher. A devoted daughter. A fabulous cook. A tenaciously loyal friend. A vigorous tennis player. An encouraging sister. An avid reader. The guardian of the Kircher family history. A majestically organized manager of anything at all. And a perceptive observer of global events.

But what she was most of all, what defined her, and into which she poured her considerable skills and energy, was being a mother and later a grandmother.

Davis and Carrie were the recipients of their mother's abundant love, graceful discipline, and complete commitment to their well-being. And they are the result of intelligent parental principles that were consistent and effective, formed entirely from Pam's instinctive wisdom.

Her children were the center of her life, but not the whole of it. She gave Davis and Carrie non- negotiable rules and responsibilities, but also appropriate choices and freedoms. She taught them civility and tact, and taught them by example, not by command. She was always generous but never indulgent. She was supportive but not without good counsel. She nudged her children toward achievement without neglecting the cultivation of their character. She was strict but also flexible, involved but not intrusive, careful but not fearful. From her, Davis and Carrie learned the value of honesty, diligence, affection, discretion, and compassion. Because of her, they became confident, productive, loving adults.

And in turn expected and nurtured the same qualities in their own children.

Heirlooms aren't always cameos, pocket watches, or lace. Kindness can also be passed from one generation to the next. Many years ago, Hank wrote, ""Are you smiling? Somebody loves you,"" on a post-it note and stuck it on Pam's bathroom mirror. Just small, simple words that mattered very much to Pam. She framed the note and put it on her bedside table, where it remained until the day she died. Carrie's daughter Madeline saw that little frame hundreds of times. A week after Pam died, Madeline wrote the same words on another post-it note and pressed it onto Carrie's bathroom mirror. The same sweet gesture was repeated in three generations, because in Pam's family kindness is inherited.

Pam always had good friends because she was always a good friend. Her basic nature was a perfect balance of contrasting elements, endearing her to everyone who knew her. She had strong convictions but never shouted them. She listened more than she talked. She laughed easily and often, but never at the expense of someone else. She was proud of her children but never brazenly boastful. If the limelight shined upon her, she was happy to share it and likely to relinquish it. She was unerringly polite and essentially reserved, but when it was required she had storms and steel in her heart. At every difficult moment in her life, Pam faced dark circumstances without delusion or evasion, in her own good time and in her own way: she retreated to a silent place within her, pondered the perplexities and possibilities, and emerged with a plan and monumental resolve.

Pam was reasonable in disagreement, discerning in decisions, and patient in persuasion, a warm, upbeat, and energetic woman, utterly without pretense. She loved deeply and was deeply loved in return. In a world of too many people who are selfish or merely indifferent, she was an angel in their midst.

Pam was preceded in death by her parents, Robert Emerson Kircher and Emma Lou Spetman Kircher. She is survived by her husband, Henry Davis Ward, Jr., of Castle Pines, Colorado; her son, Henry Davis Ward, III, of Austin, Texas (wife, Lauren; children: Henry, Carter, and Emmy); her daughter, Caroline Ward Bracksieck, of Castle Pines, Colorado (husband, Chris; children: Kade, Madeline, Kircher, and Lillian); her sister, Diane Zimmerman, of Louisville, Kentucky; her brother, Robert Emerson Kircher, Jr., of Albuquerque, New Mexico (wife, Margaret); her sister-in-law, Betty Davis, of Edisto Island, South Carolina.

A private family Memorial Service will be held in July. Donations in memory of Pam may be made to Wings of Hope, a research foundation for pancreatic cancer, wingsofhopepcr.org

""Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul, there is no such thing as separation.""
--Rumi, Persian poet and philosopher