Offering Support at a Vietnamese Catholic Funeral

Vietnamese families can differ in their rituals and traditions, especially when it comes to losing a loved one. Most traditional Vietnamese Catholic funerals include some or all of these guiding steps:



• The funeral is usually preceded by a series of prayers. On Wednesday and Thursday, the family will pray at the funeral home. On Friday, a Mass is held either at the funeral home or the church. Funerals are typically held on Saturday, with a standard funeral Mass following prayer. 
• The funeral service follows the format of a typical Catholic funeral Mass. There may be the addition of readings or reflections based on the life or beliefs of the deceased. Eulogies are not common. Instead, these personal stories are saved to share during the wake period or reception.
• A full witness burial follows the funeral Mass, with a priest overseeing the Rite of Committal and family members and friends joining in prayer and paying final respects at the gravesite.
• After the burial, family and guests return to the home for a meal and a reception. This is when memories and stories are usually shared as family and dear friends memorialize the deceased. 
• A year after the death, a memorial is held. This event is viewed as a celebration of life and is a festive occasion. The family will prepare a feast and visit their loved one’s gravesite with friends and members of the community.
  

It’s natural to feel uncertain or even intimidated by the thought of attending the funeral of someone from a different cultural or religious background. However, there’s nothing to worry about. Your presence and support of your friend or loved one is more important than knowing every detail of etiquette. 

Vietnamese Catholic funerals are particularly somber events. It’s best to focus on approaching the funeral with a spirit of openness, understanding, and respect. Allow yourself to be guided by the community during rituals, prayers, and blessings. Offer gestures of support, such as a gentle embrace or a comforting handshake. Throughout the service, quiet reflection and remembrance are appreciated as the family mourns their loved one. 

It’s customary for funeral guests to dress in semi-formal, modest, and dark-colored clothing. The immediate family will usually dress in all black, with white and yellow headbands or hoods worn by the most immediate family. These headbands signify their close relationship with the deceased, and would not be appropriate for other guests to wear.

Those who attend a Vietnamese Catholic funeral usually bring gifts as a gesture of sympathy. Flowers, money, and food are common gifts, although they aren’t necessary. Simply being there and offering your support and condolences is sufficient. 

If you do wish to bring a gift, consult with the funeral home or check the obituary to see if the family has made any specific requests. Some may ask for donations to a charity or request that no flowers be given. Because no group is a monolith, it’s always best to follow the lead of a specific family’s wishes rather than assume their preference.

Mourning is an experience shared by the community, where grief is softened by the presence of loved ones and friends. When you attend a Vietnamese Catholic funeral, you have a cherished opportunity to participate in the family’s grief journey. Through reflection, offering condolences, or just simply being present, each gesture is welcomed and appreciated in conveying your support. 

At Horan & McConaty, our guiding principle is to honor the individuality of each family we serve, including those within the Vietnamese community here in Denver and the surrounding areas. Customization is key to ensuring ceremonies reflect the wishes and beliefs of the family and their loved one. Our team of knowledgeable and compassionate experts are here to provide solace, comfort, and information on what to expect during a time of loss.